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Real browser · Lighthouse · axe-core · Vision AI

Your landing page is probably terrible.

We'll prove it with data, not opinions. Free score. $9 to fix it.

Not ready to paste yours? See a real, fully-unlocked sample roast →

1

Paste your URL

Any landing page, any tech stack.

2

See your score + a taste

Your global score and 2 verdicts, free.

3

Unlock the measured audit

Real speed, accessibility, SEO, mobile render + every fix. $9 one-time.

ChatGPT guesses. We measure.

A chat model reads the text you paste. We load your live page in a real browser and run the same tools a senior audit would.

Lighthouse

Real performance

LCP, CLS, blocking time and your actual page weight, measured by Google, not estimated.

axe-core

Accessibility failures

The exact contrast failures, missing alt text and unlabeled inputs on your rendered page.

Deterministic checks

Technical SEO

Title, meta, single H1, Open Graph, schema, canonical, robots and sitemap. Pass or fail.

Vision

Your actual render

We screenshot desktop, tablet and mobile, then judge the layout a chat model never sees.

ChatGPT can't see your render, doesn't know your real speed, and compares you to no one. We do all three.

Then we read your copy

On top of the measured data, a fixed framework scores your messaging on the same 10 criteria. Same yardstick every time, on purpose.

  1. 01

    Hero Clarity

    Can a stranger understand what you do in under 5 seconds?

  2. 02

    Primary CTA Strength

    Is your main call-to-action obvious, compelling, and friction-free?

  3. 03

    Social Proof Quality

    Does the page actually make me trust you?

  4. 04

    Pricing Transparency

    Do I know what this costs before I sign up?

  5. 05

    Objection Handling

    Do you answer the top 3 fears before I have to ask?

  6. 06

    Copy Voice & Differentiation

    Real human who believes in this, or generic SaaS template?

  7. 07

    Visual Hierarchy

    Is the page scannable in under 10 seconds?

  8. 08

    Mobile & Speed Signals

    Any obvious signals of bad mobile UX or slow performance?

  9. 09

    Onboarding Friction

    How many steps between 'interested' and 'using it'?

  10. 10

    Above-The-Fold Score

    Does everything essential appear without scrolling?

Show, don't tell.

See a real, fully-unlocked roast of a well-known landing page.

See a live sample roast

Pay once, or roast on repeat.

No trial, no subscription trap. Pay for what you use.

One Roast

$9one-time

Roast any page, then pay $9 to unlock the full report. No account.

  • Full 10-criteria report
  • Every verdict + every rewrite
  • Global score & verdict
  • Shareable public link
Most popular

Starter

$19/month

For solo founders shipping regularly.

  • 20 roasts / month
  • Full reports, always unlocked
  • Roast history
  • Shareable links

Pro

$49/month

For agencies and heavy users.

  • 100 roasts / month
  • Full reports, always unlocked
  • Roast history
  • Priority analysis

FAQ

Is the feedback actually useful or just AI fluff?

Every verdict is specific to your page and comes with a concrete rewrite. No "consider optimizing."

Is a human reviewing my page, or is it automated?

Automated, and that's the point. We load your live page in a real browser, run Lighthouse and axe-core, and a vision model critiques the actual render. Seconds, not a week of waiting on a consultant.

Do I need an account?

No. The $9 one-time unlock works with just your email.

Does it work on any landing page?

Almost always — we load your live page in a real browser, any stack. On the rare site that hard-blocks bots, you're never charged, and you can paste your HTML to still get the copy read.

Can I share my roast?

Yes. Every unlocked roast gets a public, shareable link.

Find out what your page is hiding.

Built solo and bootstrapped. Same real tools every time — Lighthouse, axe-core, a real browser. No opinions sold as data. The score is free, so there's nothing to lose but your ego.